Infected
by Shikirou
Summary: Mello and Matt are infected with a disease called addiction. As they work together to get rid of what they both despise in their lives, they realize that that's what is keeping together the most. Mello and Matt. Yaoi.


Even though this isn't my first fiction, it is, however, my first yaoi. This is, in fact, a MxM fanfiction, so viewer discretion is advised. ;)

For those of you who play the online yaoi game, Poisoned, and know about the upcoming of the second game, Infection, this story has nothing to do with either game. It is losely based off of a song by Bad Religion, whose song name is Infected (surprise, surprise). It is a very good song by a very good punk band. If you haven't heard of the song or Bad Religion, I suggest looking it up. Even if you don't listen to that genre, you may like the song. I believe it was also on Guitar Hero I, but I can't be for sure.

And if you read, I'd very much appreciate if you review. I'd like to know your feelings on this idea, this chapter, the character's personalities compared to Death Note, anything. Advice ore criticism is all incouraged!

* * *

Diacetylmorphine

* * *

The cold wash of anesthesia hit me. It swept over me, a wave that started at the tip of my body, rushing across my face to my head, running down my neck to my chest, crashing into a warm golden explosion in my stomach and my groin. It was a blessed sensation beyond the peak of orgasm and relief of nausea, as every muscle in my body relaxed and my head lolled gently on my shoulder, every sense unwinding, unburdened of the crushing weight of the pain I never even knew that I had: the rush, the wave, death, heaven, completion. For hours and hours. The hit. Sensual ultimatum.

This is the feeling of the disease I welcomed into my life. The feeling is fleeting and as it leaves, it is replaced with an emptiness in the pit of my stomach while it slowly tries to leave me completely. The feeling of euphoria, pure bliss, leaves every pore of my body as I lay still, in a heap of self-pity on the floor.

After I run out, I try pathetically to fall into a slumber as an attempt to ignore the feeling that comes over me later. This the worst part of my addiction. It may be a day or so before I become completely dry, but sometimes the pain can become mind-numbing, as tremors of red, hot pain come painfully through my brain and soreness racks throughout the rest of my body.

After a while, simple moments can make unreal pain go throughout your body. You become nauseated, as your stomach makes you lurch abruptly, making you vomit. You lay there, limited in movement, shivering and shaking in a cold sweat. The pain never stops. It continues and continues as it overcomes your body and senses, until it gets what it wants.

And that's the exact situation I'm in right this minute.

But I'm not alone in my suffering.

Mello, my boyfriend, if that's what you wish to call him, is also infected and held prisoner by heroin.

Although I don't want him to have to suffer the addiction with me, I couldn't imagine going through this alone. As lame and horribly cheesy as this sounds, having him with me, through the high, through the withdrawals, through going to rehab and failing, through everything, again and again continuously, makes me remember that life is still worth living – worth _fighting_ – for. Because I have no life right now, I don't deserve it.

And if I could change myself, there's no doubt I would. I've wished for years that I could just simply subtract the heroin from the equation of my existence, instead of continuing to add to this hideously shameful arithmetic of Mello and I.

The heroin... it changed me.

I was not always a greedy liar, a stealer, a thief, an abusive, arrogant, and temperamental fool like I am today. Some of the things I did – and still do – makes me sick. The sad thing is, I can't stop. It's like my body is taken over and is no longer in my control; like I'm some puppet.

It seems like Mello deals with it all better than I do. He is, of course, still affected by the heroin – by me and my actions. He has changed as well. Although compared to me, the change is minute. Mello is much stronger than I am. He always has been.

In fact, he's the one that's helping me now. Through his own pain of two-day withdrawal pains, he is up and kneeling in front of me, wiping the sweat from my forehead with a cool, damp towel. I should be thankful to have have Mello – to have him to be as strong as he is.

But I say nothing to him, though. No thank-yous or signs of appreciation. Not now nor afterwards do I say anything. I should, though, because I am very thankful to have him. But something tells me that I don't have to voice my feelings to him. Maybe he already knows my love and appreciation of him. But maybe I'm just hoping for to much.

I try to stop thinking so much. It just makes the throbbing in my head worse, makes it spread to my neck and shoulders. He speaks to me, his voice low and pained. I find it hard to concentrate on his words, but I give a half-assed attempt. "Come on," he says, "let's get you to stand up. You need to eat."

I moan, saying nothing else. I don't feel like standing, I don't feel like talking, and I don't feel like eating. I don't even fill like laying here, but I don't have much of a choice either way.

"We have to go to town, Matt. We can meet Mikami – or maybe Near, I don't know, we're desperate – to get him hook us up."

Mikami? Aren't we in his apartment? Well, I thought we were when we were shooting up.

I shake my head as Mello grabs my hand and tugs on it. "N-no..." I say, pulling my hand loose of his. "W-we'll owe 'em."

"I know, I know." He says, sighing. "We... we're low, on cash. But we'll deal, okay, Matt? We'll deal with it."

'Maybe we can stick through it, go without. Get through it ourselves.' I find myself wanting to say, but as soon as I open my mouth, something makes me stop myself. I couldn't do it. _We_ couldn't do it.

Mello frailly grips my arm and tries to hoist me up from off the ground.

Instantly, upon contact, I feel pain rush throughout my body. On reflex, I fight back – more so against the pain than from Mello – and hit him. It wasn't hard, because, let's face it, I don't have much strength in me, but I know it must've hurt Mello. A lot.

He continues, however, to pick me up. I don't fight back this time, now that I'm more prepared for the pain. I moan and whine as he hauls me up, and try to look at Mello's face. I feel so weak.

My vision is also slightly affected, for Mello's face is slightly blurred, but even then I could see how beautiful he was. His hair was tousled and he was layered in a thin layer of glistening sweat, as was I, but this only seemed to enhance his features. His azure eyes, one of my favorite things about him, still sparkled, even with dark bags under his eyes. I hated to admit it, but I was jealous. After I got pulled down by drugs, my eyes seamed to lose their youth – their childhood innocence. But Mello... his were as bright as they were years ago, when I met him.

His shirt was off and he was in boxers. He had lost quite a bit of muscles from when he was eighteen, two years ago, probably from the lack of nutrition. I could see that he was sweating on his body as well. He should probably put his clothes back on. Was he hot?

But then I look down at myself, at the black pants and black T-shirt, and I remember.

A few days ago or so, I'm never completely sure, I was in a quarrel out in the street with a couple of drug dealers. Mikami had told me not to go around that side of town, that there were some shady people down there, but I had been told by another source that we could get a large amount of "china white" heroin for cheap. I went down there by myself and actually did purchase some from an older looking man. I didn't get too far on my way back to Mikami's apartment when three guys surrounded me in hopes to steal it from me.

I'm a pretty good fighter, I can fend for myself, but there was no way that one person like myself could do much against three people. Plus I know how desperate you can get when you're in a situation like that. I kind of don't blame them for ganging up on me, especially when the chances of getting some free drugs was so high.

I tried to fight, but one of the guys punched me in the stomach, and I was blinded with pain. I was hit a couple of times, was knocked to the ground, and then kicked until I got knocked out.

I don't know when I woke up, but I was robbed of not only my heroin, but of my clothes as well. I had to go all the way back to Mikami's almost completely naked. Worse than that, I barely had a high left from the last time I shot up. I knew that Mello and I had some left back at the apartment, and I had planned for us to shoot up the rest after I finished walking there.

When I finally got there, though, Mello and Mikami had both left, and to where I don't know. But, luckily, they had left a small bag there. Well, I thought it was a small bag. I don't remember much of anything, except that I was blindingly mad. I shot the majority of it up that day, but after Mello hadn't returned the next morning, I finished it off.

I guess whenever Mello and Mikami got back, he saw me without clothes and put his on me.

I lean some of my weight on Mello, as he leads me to the couch and I lean on that instead.

"Why...?" I asked him vaguely, looking at his bare chest.

He smiles weakly but knowingly. "You were shaking, and, well I guess I felt sorry for you. I don't know. Mikami said he'd try and get some extra clothes... but he hasn't been back since then."

I blushed slightly, but my face was already flushed and red, so he probably couldn't tell. "Y-you didn't have to, Mello."

He shakes his head, his lips curved up in a small smirk. "At least I have underwear on."

At this, I blush even more. He laughs slightly at my expression. I guess he could tell after all.

"Don't worry about it."

"Mello, I... I'm not worried about that."

He sighs. "I know. ... We'll get some. Trust me, love."

Why does he have to call me that? I frown and push my way past him. "Well, you have to wear something if we're going to find Mikami."

Mello says nothing, and I go to Mikami's room. At first, I go to the closet but there is not clothes in there. I guess they're all dirty. Oh well, he'll have to deal with those instead. At least until we get something else.

I go to the floor and pick up a gray shirt and some jeans from the ground and walk back into the living room.

"I guess you'll have to deal with these," I say, throwing the clothes at him.

He puts the clothes on without complaint. The pants are too large for him, but there's nothing we can do about it. It should be fine, there was a belt already in the loops of the pants. They'll have to work.

Now were can we find Mikami?

Mello answers, almost as if reading my mind. "He'll probably be with Light."

He's probably right, now that I think about it. When he's not here, he is with Light. But Light is not always in his apartment. Sometimes he and L are on the east side of town.

"What if he's not--"

"Trust me," Mello said. His voiced was filled with certainty. "He will."

* * *

Mikami is not always someone we can trust completely. Instead of getting me clothes, he went with Light and his boyfriend to get messed up. Well, L doesn't do heroin and shit, but he does smoke marijuana. For some reason, he has something against opiates and psychedelics.

Anyway, when we got there, we found them all smoking some speed. So, needless to say, Mello was right. We found him at Light and L's apartment. He apologized, saying he just got sidetracked and simply forgot all about it.

Yeah, right.

But he says he'll make it up to us by giving us heroin, free of charge. I guess I can't complain.

Well, it's not actually _his_ heroin, but this chick's. Some chick that we met for the first time that day, and was introduced to us as Light's "girlfriend".

So... What did I think of her?

Well, let's just say that even in my weak state, I almost laughed out loud the first time she spoke one sentence.

Not that her voice was especially weird, albeit annoying, but it was that she sounded like a stupid, love-struck teenage girl.

Not only that, but both Mello and I, as well as Mikami, know that Light is homosexual, as well as partners with L. I guess the girl is oblivious of it all. After talking to her for a while, I don't doubt it. They don't have to try that hard to keep that fact away from her.

"Misa, uh... recently got like a ton of heroin and gave me a bag full. I'll share some with you guys... as a, uh, apology of sorts." Mikami said.

The girl, seemingly named 'Misa', is the epitome of what a man would want. A straight man, that is. She was dressed in a black miniskirt with a shirt that showed off her pierced belly button, as well as a good amount of cleavage. She was tall and had blonde hair that was pulled up in two pony tails on each side of her head. She looked like a stripper.

I found that, apparently, she _is_ a stripper. A stripper from the south side. And what relevancy does that have? That meant that she was rich as _fuck_.

It'd hadn't been long after we'd been there, but time seemed to tick by slowly. And she kept talking, mostly about herself and how much "Light loves Misa-Misa".

I had to sit there, though, suffering as I put up with her mindless chatter for what seemed like hours, until Light interrupted.

"--and Misa-Misa just knew that we'd be just a _great_ couple together, even though I--"

"I'm sorry, babe, but are you guys ready to shoot up some heroin?"

I smiled instantly, and so did Mello, who put his arm around my waist. "I know Matt and I are. We haven't had any in a few days."

Light whistled slightly. "Damn, guys. I don't think I could make it."

L, who was sitting besides Light, rolled his eyes. "I know that I, myself, could. I do not even fathom why you guys ruin your lives with that garbage."

Light snorted. "You're one to talk."

L opened his mouth to argue, but I cough, not wanting to have to sit between a two-hour argument. I had waited long enough due to Misa.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said, referring the comment to Mello and I. "_L_, here, is being condescending. He knows he is just wasting our time," he said with a smirk on his face.

Mikami grabbed a syringe and smiled weirdly. "We prepared some needles before we smoked, so we're all ready to go!"

"Good," I said with little enthusiasm. I was getting impatient.

He handed me the syringe and gave another to Mello. We both instantly pulled our arms out and began to feel a little for a good vein to stick it with. Since we were both addicts, it didn't take long for us to find a vein and for us to insert the heroin into our system.

And then that's when the magic began.

The effect is almost instantaneous. The lights grow brighter, your body feels warm and relaxed, and all your cares and worries disappear completely and is replaced with a carefree, happy feeling.

I look at Mello, who shoots up after me, and I watch him, fascinated. I smile at him, watching as the effects hit him and a thousand weights are lifted magically off his shoulders. He turns his head and looks at Misa and the others, who are also going through the process of shooting up with the works. Then, he turns to look at me.

The effects are growing more and more intense as the seconds go by of Mello and I just staring at one another. But suddenly, the urge to just walk over to him and kiss and make love to him was too much to pass up.

So I find myself on top of him, not caring about that the others were in the room, and my lips claiming his. He moans against my lips, putting his hands up to my head, into my maroon-red hair. I let my hands wander, starting from his shoulders to under his shirt, pulling it up slightly, down past his hips and butt, going back to his pants to unbuckle the belt. It was loose against his waist, and it did not take long for my hand to reach inside his pants.

But something makes me stop dead in my tracks. My heart is pounding with anticipation as I hear Mikami yell something. I couldn't make out what he said, what others are saying. There are three or more voices I cannot identify. They all mingle together and I suddenly become paranoid.

Mello pushes me slightly, taking my attention from the voices to him. He says nothing but his eyes say everything. His eyes were filled with fear and his body was tense. He was afraid, and I didn't have to look away from his face for even a second to know what was happening.

Somehow – someway – the cops had acquired certain information and had just busted into Mikami's room, catching us all red-handed.

* * *

Here's another reminder to review!


End file.
